


Unwanted

by TheEeveeTamer



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alpha Sylvain, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Angst, Beta Dedue, Child Character OCs, Childfree Sylvain and Felix, Discussion of Abortion, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Dimitri, Omega Felix, Post-Canon, Unwanted Pregnancy, omega drop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 21:37:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21186374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEeveeTamer/pseuds/TheEeveeTamer
Summary: Babies had always been a hypothetical for them, because Felix had been borderline obsessive about preventing exactly the kind of situation they were currently in.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a forewarning that Dimitri/Dedue will be a major side ship in the coming chapters, but theyare still technically a side ship. They're vital enough to the story that I thought it would be worth tagging them, since their kids and their relationship are relevant to the main Sylvain/Felix plot.

Two short knocks cut through his blissful slumber, banishing whatever dream he’d been having straight into the ether.

“Lord Fraldarius?” A muffled voice called through the door.

He groaned into his pillow, face half buried in the sheets, “What?”

“Our guests will be arriving within the hour.”

“Thank you…” He said through a yawn. Right. He’d forgotten. “We’ll be out in a few.”

He waited for the sound of steps fading off down the hall.

Goddess, he really was getting lazy if he needed a wake-up call. He blamed his stupid mate, for putting his stupid, strong arms around his waist and for his stupid, comforting scent that beckoned him to close his eyes for just a minute longer.

Fifteen years ago he would have found waking up any time after dawn ridiculous… Then again, fifteen years ago he hadn’t imagined that he’d be waking up with this particular Alpha in his bed, either.

It wasn’t difficult to shake the arms dangling around his waist -- a sure sign that his mate was still out cold. He hissed as he threw the covers off and forced himself to sit upright.

Their bedroom was freezing this time of year, especially when  _ somebody _ slept in and forgot to relight the fireplace, despite the fact that they’d  _ agreed  _ that it was his responsibility. He bit back an annoyed grumble.

“Feeeelix…” his mate whined and tugged at the sleeve of his nightshirt in a way that was rather unbecoming of someone his age. So, he was awake after all. “Come back.”

Ridiculous. The man was ridiculous.

“We don’t have time for this today.” He batted his eager hand away and took a deep breath, bracing himself for when his bare feet would hit the cold floor. “ _ Someone  _ decided it would be a good idea to invite the royal brats over.  _ All  _ of them.”

“Shit, that’s today?”

“Yes, Sylvain!”

“I forgot.”

“Obviously.” 

“Aw c’mon, you know you love having them here.”

“Yeah, yeah. Now get out of bed and restart the fire before I freeze to death.”

Sylvain groaned and rolled out of bed like a cat, landing on his feet on the opposite side. Joints popped and cracked as he lifted his arms over his head to stretch, bare chest on display.

It still amazed him that the man could generate so much heat that he didn’t even need a shirt in the dead of winter. Felix had long since commandeered his thickest, warmest nightshirts from him. He practically drowned in them, but they were comfortable and it always seemed to make his Alpha happy when he wore them.

Well, the longer he stalled the worse it was going to be. Felix pushed himself off of the mattress and stood upright, stomach lurching slightly as he did. He could feel the blood drain out of his cheeks as he bit back a protesting whimper.

Sylvain gave him a strange look from the opposite side of the bed, where he was now rolling his shoulder and wincing slightly as he flexed his abused muscles.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine. It’s probably just the cold,” he offered, with a pointed look at the redhead.

“You wound me, kitten.”

He’d given up long ago on trying to get Sylvain to stop using that particular nickname. Now the most it earned was a groan and a roll of the eyes, and maybe a little blush, if he were being honest.

Unfortunately, the feeling in the pit of his stomach didn’t ebb as he took his first steps toward getting ready. By the time he’d finished getting his hair in order for the day -- why had he grown it out again? His mate’s happy rumbles weren’t worth the upkeep -- he was sitting on the edge of the bath, forehead resting in his clammy palms.

Sylvain just had to offer Dimitri and Dedue a break, didn’t he?

It must be difficult, what with a young baby and four other little terrors, but that was their problem. If he were forced to choose between leeching off of his mate’s body heat until one of the servants got frustrated enough to come in and relight their fireplace, or getting up early to corral four children under the age of ten… Well, he’d choose the former any day.

Breakfast was even worse. The smell of his scrambled eggs turned his stomach, but he choked it down anyways. It passed so quickly from his mouth to his stomach that he barely tasted it; he barely even chewed them. He was going to need the energy if he was going to deal with four little demons running around his home all day.

They were just finishing up and clearing their plates when he heard the shrieks of children down the hall.

“Uncle Felix!”

He was barely out of his seat before the little girl nearly bowled him over, face planted firmly in the soft fur trim of his overcoat. It knocked the breath -- and nearly knocked his breakfast -- right out of him.

“Hey there, kid,” he patted her head fondly, if a bit awkwardly, as the older three trailed after their little sister.

“No hug for Uncle Sylvain?” His mate pouted, arms spread wide to accept the little bundle of energy. Felix rolled his eyes at him, but she detached herself from his waist and ran over to be swept up into his arms anyways.

He was glad the rest thought themselves too old for hugs. He didn’t know if he could handle being swarmed today.

They were a rather cute little brood, even he had to admit that. Nikolai, the eldest, was the spitting image of his father. Kid was just under nine years old and already pushing toward five feet tall, yet to even hit his first real growth spurt. Silver hair, a little stocky, and a deep tan complexion, but his eyes were that signature Blaiddyd blue.

The twins, Roderick and Giles, were very much a product of their mother. Sharp looking blue eyes and his nose, but their father’s hair. Luckily Roderick had gotten a hold of a pair of scissors and, in a rather hilarious but unfortunate event, had cut off all of his hair in an attempt to imitate his dad. At least it made them easy to tell apart in the meantime.

According to Dedue, little Nadya was the spitting image of his sister. Same green eyes, same thick eyebrows, same full, pouty lips. He would have to take his word on that one, but he swore the little girl had her mama’s nose. She liked to keep her straight silver hair in a long braid, which he suspected was only because that meant her dad did her hair for her every morning.

“Your dad isn’t going to come in and say hi?”

“He doesn’t want to leave mom alone for too long,” the eldest offered, “but Mom’ll be here tonight. He said he wanted to talk to you about something, Uncle Felix.”

He grinned in anticipation. Dimitri only ever wanted to talk when he had a task for him, and he’d been itching to head out somewhere with his sword.

“I look forward to it.”

His mate set the youngest back down on her own two feet and she ran back to his side. The four year old started to babble about swordplay and her lessons and her last duel where she almost won against Giles, but Roderick butted in last minute and tripped her.

If he was being perfectly honest, he was only half listening, but Nadya didn’t particularly seem to mind. She barely even paused for him to let out his obligatory  _ uh huh  _ before launching into the next topic. He could already feel a migraine settling in behind his eyes, the kind he only got after a particularly long ride, or a very hard day of training.

“Oh by the way…” Sylvain started, a somewhat timid edge to his voice.

_ No. _

“I forgot I had some letters to write.”

_ You bastard. _

“So... You can take first shift, kay?”

“Sylvain!”

“I’ll see you all later!”

He quickly kissed him on the cheek before he set off in the opposite direction. That absolute… First he gets them babysitting duty, now this? He strolled away far too leisurely, apparently unaware, or unconcerned with the scorching death glare Felix was shooting at his retreating back.

He took three deep breaths.  _ Later. I can kill Sylvain later.  _ He thought it knowing full well that he wouldn’t be mad enough to bother in a few hours… But damn, was it a tempting thought in the moment. Besides, if he killed his mate then there would be no one to watch their niblings while he took a hot bath and a nap.

Goddess, the man really was rubbing off on him.

“... Alright kids, who wants to go to the training grounds?”

All four raised their hands eagerly, not that he was waiting for their approval. He’d already started shepherding them off in that direction before he’d even finished the sentence. He could get a little training in -- he ignored the way his stomach flipped in protest at the thought -- and the kids could entertain themselves with the wooden practice weapons. Win-win. Nadya had been begging him for weeks to help her learn, anyways. Plus he was more than a little smug about his niece telling her mama that she hated lances and wanted to learn from Uncle Felix instead. Then insisted, despite Dimitri being more than competent with a sword, that she wanted to learn from the  _ best.  _ He’d snickered at that.

Maybe he regretted it just a little when they were finally there -- not the thing with Dimitri, but suggesting the training grounds in the first place. As they grew closer one of the twins tugged him by the wrist and nearly caused him to topple, oddly reminiscent of the time Dimitri had accidentally dislocated his shoulder when they were kids.

“Rory!” He growled, left hand flying up to grip his arm. “What have we told you about pulling people?”

“But Nadya gets to!”

“Nadya isn’t going to accidentally rip anyone’s arms out of their sockets.”

Dimitri had been insistent on not testing any of his children for crests, partly because of Sylvain’s influence, but it was difficult to ignore a pair of toddlers that needed new toys every week because they kept accidentally smashing, breaking, or snapping them in two. All of their children were already going to be giants by virtue of genetics; it was probably a good thing only two of them were going to be giants that could crush a man’s skull with a single hand.

He shuddered at the image and dispelled it from his mind. That… Was not a good memory. He pushed it down and tried to focus on his sword.

He was sloppy today. It only took about ten minutes of warming up for the uncomfortable but ignorable weight in his stomach to grow painful enough for him to want to double over. Luckily the twins were happy to chase each other around with their wooden swords in a “duel”, and Nikolai was more than happy to make sure they didn’t get each other killed. He decided to focus on stances with his niece instead of doing any actual training himself.

_ … Must have been something I ate last night. _

He’d have to ask Sylvain if he was feeling queasy too.

Speak of the devil… It took about an hour for Sylvain to finally wander in and take over supervision of the twins. Nikolai could only last so long before they needed an adult, and he was in no position to do much of anything. By that point Felix was nearly doubled over, fingers gripping his upper thighs and arms locked to keep him upright. It was freezing outside, but the sweat was dripping down his forehead and soaking into the shirt underneath his coat. It wasn’t unusual after a full day of training, but he’d barely even picked up his weapon.

Damn it, why was it so  _ hot?  _ He looked to Sylvain, but his mate had his eyes on the twins. Gil tripped over an uneven brick, and Sylvain did his best to stifle his chuckling as he went over to check that he was okay. Rory stood over his brother triumphantly, dull sword tip pointed down at the defeated boy’s neck just like in the story books. When he’d confirmed that their nephew was okay, Sylvain stopped trying to suppress his snickering.

His stomach churned uncomfortably, bile rose at the back of his throat. He didn’t even have time to consider finding a bathroom. He just dropped to his knees, right there in the middle of the training grounds, and deposited the contents of his stomach onto the bricks.

That free, unrestricted laughter died in his mate’s throat. Felix could practically see it grind to a halt before he rushed over to his side.

He had his training sword in his hand, knuckles white around the wooden handle as he tried to force himself back up to a standing position. Damn it… Now he had to go and worry Sylvain. His mate grabbed him by the arm and helped him to his feet.

“Fe… Why didn’t you tell me you were sick? I could have watched the kids, damn... I can’t believe I… You really should be resting and I-”

“I’m fine!” he snapped. A beat. Then, softly this time, “You don’t have to worry about me.”

He spit whatever remained of the bitter acid onto the ground and tried not to look at the disgusting puddle of half-digested eggs. The smell alone made him want to throw up all over again. He covered his nose and mouth with his free hand and tried not to think about the churning in his stomach.

Their niblings all jumped back a few paces, mimicking his body language with their fingers pinching their noses. The youngest present shrieked out an  _ ew! _

Sylvain didn’t seem convinced by his plea. He didn’t budge, one hand rubbing soothing circles on his back.

“I probably just… just didn’t drink enough water. Stop  _ hovering,  _ it’s not like I’m going to die.”

He shrugged off his mate’s hand and made his own way to the nearby bench where he’d left his water. Sylvain didn’t look convinced.

“... Alright kids, come on, let’s go back inside. Uncle Felix just needs a minute.” Sylvain collected up all of the training weapons and ushered the little brood out of the area.

A maid quickly came by to clean up his mess (he’d have to apologize later). He put his head between his legs in the meantime, fingers knotted in the back of his hair, half yanking it out of it’s long ponytail.

Goddess he hadn’t felt this awful in  _ years. _

He had no idea how long he sat there, but he did know that it wasn’t getting any better. He could feel his empty insides stirring around, primed for another escape.

After awhile he heard footsteps approach him once more. The wooden bench creaked next to him, and a comforting hand came to rest on the small of his back. It didn’t make his stomach feel any better, but it was nice…

“Do you wanna lie down? I can take over babysitting until Dimitri comes to get them.”

“... Yes,” he groaned.

His soft bed seemed a hell of a lot better than a bench outside, but he wasn’t sure he’d be able to make it that far on his shaky legs. He stumbled through the first steps like a newborn deer, and he would have fallen back down onto his knees had Sylvain not caught him.

“Alright, come on.” Sylvain let him sling an arm over his shoulders. He slumped to accommodate his much shorter stature as they walked back to their bedroom slowly, one step at a time. To his credit, Felix didn’t have to stop once to vomit. He collapsed into bed, fully clothed, and curled up under the warm blankets against the cold Faerghus air. The bed still smelled distinctly of them, which shouldn’t have been surprising since they hadn’t left it all that long ago. He dragged his mate’s pillow over to his side of the bed and squeezed it to his chest, already feeling a little better.

Sylvain brushed his bangs out of his eyes, disgusting and sticky from the meager training session and trying to hold in whatever remained of his breakfast.

“I’ll call a healer for you.”

“I don’t need a healer.”

“Well, I’m calling one anyways.”

He didn’t protest beyond a low whine deep in his throat. He wasn’t very keen on the idea of dragging a healer here just to tell him he had a stomach ache or food poisoning… But he knew there was no way to change Sylvain’s mind, not even with the bitterest jabs or sarcasm.

He alternated between freezing cold and far too warm to the touch, exhausted but unable to fall asleep.He stripped off his coat, then alternated between kicking off, dragging back, kicking off, dragging back the covers… Someone came in to stoke the fire and light a few candles when the overcast sky made it apparent that daylight was no longer an option, but otherwise he was left alone. It was just past noon, and the nausea was just starting to abate when the doctor came in.

He pushed himself to a sitting position, unwilling to be seen curled up and vulnerable by anyone outside of his pack. His stomach protested, but he ignored it. Silently cursed it, even.

“I told Sylvain-”

“Lord Gautier is just worried about you,” the severe looking woman interrupted him without missing a beat. She quickly pushed her way into his space and pressed the back of her hand against his forehead before he could get out another word of protest. “When was your last heat?”

“It’s just a stomach ache-”

“When was your last heat?” She repeated, sternly.

“Last month. Just like always,” he huffed in frustration.

“And you drank your tea?”

“Yes,” a barely restrained growl edged toward his lips. Did this woman think he was an idiot?

She pulled a small vial of clear liquid out of her bag.

“I trust you know what this is?”

“Yes,” he did growl this time. Seriously, they were going to do all of this? What was it about doctors that always made them assume he was pregnant? They made him take one of those stupid things at least once a year, he was sick of them. “But I’m not pregnant.”

“I just want to rule it out.”

“Why bother?”

“The sooner you take it the sooner I’ll leave, so you might as well.”

He stared at her for a moment before he snatched the little glass tube out of her hand and headed toward the bathroom. His staff… They’d gotten far too comfortable with him. They knew that he was all bark and no bite when it came to them.

He did his business quickly, half bent over as if somehow that could help stop the way his stomach was writhing around inside his body. He didn’t even look at the damn vial, just snatched it off the counter top and shoved it back into the doctor’s hands before he fell back into bed.

“Hmm,” she hummed. He glared down at his knees. “You’re sure you drank your tea?”

“Yes!” He snapped, looking back up at her… “Of course I-”

He froze. Everything stopped mid-sentence and the only thing he could choke out were a garbled series of noises.

The vial was blue.

It’d never been blue before.

He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed them. Looked away and then back at least three times. Even stared, unblinking, for what felt like a full minute. As if any of that would force the liquid to change back to clear. As if any of it would turn the world right-side up again.

Felix liked to think himself resilient. His brother, all of the crazy shit at the academy, the war, watching his friend break down to an unrecognizable monster… Goddess, he thought nothing could phase him anymore.

He stumbled out of bed, one foot over the other he made his way to the door. He couldn’t… He couldn’t be here. Chest tight, breathing labored... His lungs were shriveling up with each inhale. Every gasp of air made him feel like he was drowning. He clawed roughly at his shirt, as if it were somehow the fabric that was the problem and not… Not the  _ thing  _ inside of him.

“-ilord?”

He could barely hear her over his pounding heart. He tugged his coat on and stumbled toward the door, suddenly woozy and high off the scent of his own distress. He smacked her worried hands away as she tried to drag him back to bed, perhaps a bit roughly, but he didn’t feel it. He didn’t feel anything. He was outside of himself as he stumbled down the hall, one hand on the wall for support.

It didn’t matter much where he went, or even what direction he headed out in. As long as it wasn’t here. As long as he could get far enough away before he teetered off the edge into the blackness and resigned himself to that calm, dark bliss. Alone. He just wanted to be alone.

He was outside, he knew that much. He knew because his hand had lost touch with the smooth wall some time ago, and his support had been replaced by rough bark. That was all he managed to process before he collapsed onto his knees, forehead pressed against a tree trunk, nails clawing at its surface as if the wood could anchor him. Allow him to crawl out of this hell.

He registered that it was snowing, and somewhere deep in his mind he realized that it would cover his tracks. Harder to be found. That knowledge should have terrified him, but it did the opposite; he was relieved.

There was no way to tell how much time passed when he was in this limbo. No way to know how long he’d been lying prone in the snow before the soft crunch of boots approached him from behind.

He didn’t flinch, didn’t turn as the figure drew close. Even if he could, he didn’t need to… He’d know that scent anywhere. Even trapped in the inky blackness of his mind, he’d recognize it anywhere.

He didn’t feel the cold, the aching in his muscles as he shivered, the way his tears seemed to freeze on his lashes, the numbness in his lips and his cheeks… But he felt Sylvain. He felt arms wrap around his waist and pull him back to his feet. He felt teeth gently nip at the exposed skin of his neck, affording the foothold necessary to crawl back out of his own head.

He came back into the world, blinded by the meager light reflected off of the snow, the sharp winds, and the swirling snowflakes.

“I… I-I’m…” His voice quivered weakly as it left his lips.

“Shhh… I know. The doctor told me.”

“She did?”

“Mmhm, caught her coming out of our room. You had me worried, Fe. I could smell you from across the house.”

“The kids… Are the kids okay?”

“Don’t worry, someone’s watching them, and I sent for Dimitri after you collapsed in the training grounds. He should be here soon.”

“Oh goddess…” He did not need the boar seeing him like this. He wiped his cheeks with the hem of his sleeve quickly.

“You’re going to freeze to death out here. C’mon.”

His Alpha prodded him along, gently coaxing him to walk back toward the soft lights of their home. He hadn’t gone far at all, really. Even through the heavy snow he could see the flicker of candlelight through the windows. At best he’d just barely gotten off of the main grounds, which meant that Sylvain must have found him quickly.

So… Why was he so cold? It was as if his body was frozen from the inside out.

His mate could have just as easily carried him, but even in this state Felix was sure he would have found that objectionable. So they plodded along, and when they were inside Sylvain nudged him into the settee by the roaring fireplace and placed a steaming cup of Four-Spice Blend tea into his hands (how did he have this ready? Had he ordered the servants to steep it before he’d even left?)

His bare fingers tingled and burned as the blood rushed back into them, but he didn’t move to put the cup down. His mate knelt in front of him fussed over getting his damp coat off for him.

“I don’t know how this happened. We were so careful...”

He snorted sardonically.

“We? I wouldn’t call cramming your knot into me at every opportunity  _ being careful.” _

His mate fell silent, the shadow of hurt falling over his face. His eyebrows furrowed and lips turned down slightly at the corners, which gave his soft brown eyes that kicked-puppy look.

“That’s not fair.”

A pang of regret shot through him immediately.

“Yeah… You’re right.” He couldn’t blame his partner for helping him through his heat… It was just in their nature. If anything he should be kicking himself, he was the one with the damn breeding instinct.

Sylvain cracked a window before settling into the settee with him. The wind wasn’t shy about ruthlessly tearing through their room, but if too much of his agitated scent built up in the air it would probably lead straight into another panic attack. It made the air bitter and heavy, but it wasn’t as potent now. Sylvain was able to mute it with his own calming scent. His mate’s chest rumbled soothingly as he placed his palm on his thigh and squeezed.

“How are you so calm about this?”

“Hey, you’re the one who’s pregnant. I think you’ve earned the right to freak out more than I have.”

_ Pregnant. I’m pregnant. _

He hated the sound of it. Hated every single syllable of that stupid word. He gingerly removed one of his hands from his cup and placed it on his stomach. Still flat. Still normal. But there was… There was this  _ thing  _ inside of him.

“I don’t want a baby.”

_ Baby. _

The word didn’t feel right. It wasn’t a baby. It was a parasite.

“Okay… So we won’t have a baby.”

“Just like that?”

“Of course. I told you that we would do whatever you wanted when it came to kids, and I meant it, Felix.”

Babies had always been a hypothetical for them, because Felix had been borderline obsessive about preventing exactly the kind of situation they were currently in. It wasn’t that he hadn’t believed Sylvain when he’d told him he didn’t want kids… It was just that, well, Alphas had a way of changing their minds whenever things got real.

He was lucky. He might have even been the luckiest Omega alive, but he didn’t know how to say it.

“Thank you,” he offered as a paltry, but sincere substitute.

Sylvain offered one of those big, stupid, charming smiles and a little wink in return.

Felix chuckled in response, warmth spreading out from his chest and thawing whatever ice had settled in his veins. Sylvain was always like that. How did he always manage to do that? He leaned in and kissed his forehead gently.

“I’ll contact a healer about getting the proper herbs tomorrow.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Potential Trigger Warning at the end of the chapter.

Once he calmed down Sylvain went and collected up the children from their minder, and now the two of them and Dimitri’s little brood were all settled on the floor beside the fireplace. He’d since shucked his damp clothes off and replaced them with a comfortable, warm pair of pants and one of his mate’s thick nightshirts. It couldn’t compare to the real thing, but it did seem to settle his stomach a little... Or maybe that was just his imagination.

Sylvain sat cross-legged, a chessboard set up on the floor between himself and Nikolai. Felix settled his head on his Alpha’s lap and curled up on his side. Not the most comfortable position, but he liked the way the heat from the flames warmed their thick rugs. Like a makeshift nest. The Alpha was occupying himself with running his fingers through Felix’s hair in a slightly harried manner as he thought through his moves. More soothing than annoying, so he let it continue as he drowsed languidly.

Nadya settled next to him, the dip in his waist substituting for a pillow as she took her afternoon nap. He didn’t have the heart to tell her to move, even after his arm went numb under his body. The twins bundled under a blanket on the couch, one book resting on their knees between them as they read together. It may just have been the first time they’d been quiet in his presence since they were four.

It was only a matter of time before their mother came to pick them up, and they would be free of their pack-imposed burden. Knowing Dimitri, he was probably rushing at top speed through the slowly mounting blizzard, despite the hazard that might pose to him. He didn’t know what was in the message Sylvain sent to him, but if he’d left any question of the kids’ safety then he had no doubt the man would burst through their bedroom door any moment now.

How reckless. Rushing through a blizzard? The boar would never learn. What if he couldn’t see through the curtain of snow and got lost? Or ambushed? He would be alone, because Dedue would never leave any of their children in the hands of anyone but himself, his mate, or his pack. There wasn’t much distance between Fhirdiad and Fraldarius territory, but a lot could happen. And if he was injured? He could drop, and then…

_ Wait. Drop.  _ The thought brought him out of his slow, worried spiral (that he would never admit was worried… At least, not aloud).

“... Hey, Syl?”

“Yeah?”

He seemed to only be half paying attention to him, one of his little black knight pieces between his fingers as he contemplated his move. He wasn’t sure why he bothered thinking about it so hard, Nikolai was nowhere near close to beating him. As bright as the ten year old was, Sylvain could use half his mental energy and still beat him handily.

Perhaps he just needed a distraction. If he felt well enough he’d probably be swinging his sword, too.

“I dropped.” He said more insistently, trying to regain his Alpha’s lost attention.

“Yes. In the  _ snow  _ no less! Way to give me a panic attack, Fe!”

“You remember what happened last time, right?”   


“Yeah it was right after the war and…” He snapped to attention suddenly, the piece promptly placed back down on the board without even a fraction of the consideration he’d been giving it earlier. “Oh, I see what you mean!”

Sylvain gently removed his head from his lap and tucked a pillow under it instead. He ruffled their nephew’s hair affectionately before he made for the door. “No cheating while I’m gone, kiddo. I’m going to go grab the doctor for Uncle Felix right now.”

_ Tch. I thought we weren’t bothering her until tomorrow... _

It was not a memory he called upon often, but left alone with the pouting ten year old and his siblings, his mind had the opportunity to wander back to that day.

* * *

* * *

_ He remembered the palace. He remembered storming the gates, cutting down soldier after soldier, until his clothes were stained a deep red and his blade was caked in the gore and viscera of humans and demonic beasts alike. He remembered breaking through to the throne room, his allies close behind. _

_ He didn’t remember anything after that. Nothing, aside from searing pain, the acrid smell of burning flesh, and the vague feeling of being dragged. _

_ The next thing he saw after that was a ceiling. Certainly not in the palace: it was low and made of timber. Though the detail didn’t register as important; his brain was too busy kicking itself out of panic mode. He snapped his eyes open and gasped deeply to fill his straining lungs. Each breath burned in his chest, in his brain, but it was a sweet relief. He was a dying man coming up for air for the first time in Goddess only knew how long. _

_ Something -- someone, rather -- warm was at his back. Fingers grazed over his hips, firm but not bruising. Nails skimmed the bare flesh there, rubbing up and down in the characteristically nervous rhythm he’d come to associate with his mate. _

_ Felix smacked the man behind him with his ponytail in his haste to face him. It was impossible or get a good look at him thanks to their positioning, but the entire act of turning his head was redundant. He’d know those hands, that scent, the nervous tic, or the cadence of his breath anywhere. _

_ “Welcome back to the world of the living, Fe.” His nose nuzzled against his temple. _

You’re alive.  _ He thought first. He wanted to laugh, but he didn’t think his abused body could take it. _

_ “Fuck…” He groaned instead, head slouched back against the taller man’s shoulder. “What happened?” _

_ In front of him stood Manuela and Dimitri. The physician was hard at work; Her hands hovered over his torso and hip and her fingers glowed with magic. The boar prince was at his other side, with his fingers digging into and pulling the sheets like a kneading kitten. A kneading kitten that could rip through that flimsy fabric like paper. In fact, he seemed to be concentrating hard on not doing exactly that. _

_ It was all a blank now. Any memories he’d retained seemed to have come and gone after his bout of unconsciousness. _

_ “Meteor spell. Edelgard had some mages in hiding.” _

_ “Of course… I should have anticipated that.” He cursed under his breath. His fingers found their way to his face so he could fiddle with his bangs, but Manuela took him by the wrist and placed his arm firmly back down by his side, a disapproving tut on her lips. _

_ Most of his right side, extending from his rib cage to his hip, was an aggressive, bright pink. He must have tried dodging if he hadn’t taken it head on, but still… The skin looked soft and smooth to the touch, which meant someone must have healed it right away. It probably wouldn’t scar too badly, but he could only imagine what it had looked like before they’d gotten their hands on it. _

_ “I dropped?” _

_ The question didn’t require an answer. There was no other explanation for the missed time or the tightness in his chest. Breathing didn’t slow like that unless it was a drop. _

_ “Yeah.” _

_ “For how long?” _

_ “A day? Mercedes patched you up on the battlefield and then I got you back to Manuela as quickly as possible. Made you pretty easy to carry, at least.” He teased, but he sounded exhausted. He’d really carried him all the way back to the monastery? Didn’t they have a medical tent on the field? “You usually squirm too much.” _

_ He glanced over at Dimitri, who had stopped trying to tear the sheets into confetti and was now looking at him hopefully with his one wide, blue eye. _

_ “You’re alive.” He said, characteristically gruff, but even he couldn’t keep that small twinge of relief out of his voice. Felix wasn’t a heartless monster, after all. “I assume that means we won?” _

_ “Yes… And thank the Goddess you’re alive, too.” Unlike him, the boar didn’t hide his earnest tone, nor the small smile that tugged at the corner of his lips. _

_ “I’m surprised you managed without me.” He wasn’t. He knew that all of his classmates were more than capable of standing in his stead… But he wished he’d been able to stand alongside them for the whole battle. _

_ Dimitri chuckled. A tired, but unrestrained sort of sound. Not faked or forced, genuine. _

_ “As am I.” _

_ He couldn’t even imagine the hell his comrades had been through in his absence. Dimitri smiled at him, but there was something dark behind his eyes. Haunted. Even though he’d woken up, Sylvain’s fingers still didn’t stop their nervous rubbing at his sides. Something happened. He didn’t know what, but if it was enough to make Sylvain and Dimitri this upset then it must have been big. _

_ The silence was punctuated with a loud yawn from Sylvain. Clearly he had foregone sleep to get him back to the Monastery in a timely fashion. _

_ “You’ll have to regale me with all the details later.” He wasn’t sure if he was ready to hear them right now. “I’m tired.” _

_ He nudged his mate’s thigh with the back of his hand. _

_ “Get out.” _

_ “Are you crazy?” The disbelief was evident in his voice. If he could have seen his face, Felix was sure he’d have that wide-eyed look that always made him come off a little dumb. “You just woke up! Your wounds are still healing, what if you go under again and you need me?” _

_ “I’m fine now, Syl.” He grabbed His Alpha’s twitching hand and brought it up to his lips. The man behind him finally stilled when he softly pressed his mouth to the backs of his knuckles. “Go to bed.” _

_ Calloused fingertips brushed gently over his cheek once before Sylvain finally decided to stand. It was an awkward affair, since Felix still found it difficult to move his body too much. The Alpha stumbled and fell with his palms flat on the floor in a manner he surely would have found funny if he didn’t feel so guilty about causing it. Sylvain straightened up quickly and brushed his hair back, as if he’d planned to do that all along. _

_ “If you’re so sure… You know where I am, okay? Get me if you need anything.” _

_ He tried his hardest to frown as Sylvain planted a kiss on his forehead. Manuela wasn’t paying attention. Now that her work was complete she was rummaging through her desk for something that looked suspiciously like a flask. Dimitri, however, was giving him that disgusting, gooey look he only pulled when he was around Dedue or things he thought were exceptionally adorable. _

_ “Wipe that look off your face, boar.” He flinched when he tried crossing his arms over the freshly healed skin, so he settled for tilting his head down and glaring. “What are you even doing here? Weren’t you going to go meet your lapdog up on the Goddess Tower?” _

_ Goddess, he thought Dimitri was going to talk his ear off on the march toward Enbarr. An entire day of ‘do you think Dedue would like it if I said it like this?’ and ‘I got one to match his eyes, do you think that is too much?’ and ‘Goddess… What if he doesn’t say yes?’, as if the two of them hadn’t been dancing around their relationship since they were at the academy. Why couldn’t that terribly boring conversation have been wiped? Dimitri had even pulled out the stupid ring and asked for his opinion, as if he cared. _

_ ...It was a nice ring… _

_ Whatever. _

_ “Alright Sylvain I think it’s time we go.” He chuckled, patting his companion on the shoulder. The man had long since learned not to take Felix’s words to heart, an unfortunate side effect of growing up with him. _

_ “Pull your hair out of your face.” He barked at the King’s retreating back. “Do you really want the happiest moment of your life to happen with greasy hair covering your eye?” _

_ “Yes of course, mother.” _

_ He rolled over onto his side and yanked the blanket up over his bare chest. _

_ “See if I ever try to help you again.” He mumbled, shutting his eyes. _

* * *

_ He didn’t know how long he slept, just what woke him up. A stabbing pain, like he’d been taken down by an arrow straight to the gut. He squirmed for a moment, twisted onto his side and squeezed his arms around himself as if the pressure would alleviate the pain. His mouth opened, crying silently for relief. _

_ Manuela must have missed something. The waistband of his pants felt warm and wet and sticky. The covers came off next, torn with such ferocity he slammed his hand into the wall and whimpered in pain. _

_ Blood. There was blood on the sheets. He didn’t even need to pull off the top sheet to see that, it was plain as day against the stark white infirmary linens. _

_ The cramping had gotten worse, and all he could do was curl in on himself and whimper pathetically. He hadn’t felt anything this horrible since his first heat. Another terrifying unknown as his body was wracked with pain he could neither understand nor fix. Another dull throb tore through his body, and he finally groaned loudly enough to rouse Manuela, who had taken up residence in one corner of the infirmary. _

_ Several soldiers came through as they arrived, but most were quickly treated and sent away. He was one of the unfortunate few that landed in a bed for the night, and possibly the next several nights if he were really unlucky. Immediately he regretted sending Sylvain back to the dorms for the night, because whatever this was would have been a hell of a lot less scary if his mate were here to comfort him… A sentiment that, had been in his right mind, he was sure he would have never thought. _

_ Manuela was quickly at his side, long elegant fingers brushing his hair out of his face so she could examine him. He didn’t have any training in medicine, but he would bet that he looked horrible. Pale as a sheet, with tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as another agonizing wave rocked through his body. She pulled back the last sheet and sighed. _

_ It was even worse than he’d imagined. It stained the seat of his pants, and the crisp white sheets beneath him. Where had it come from? He’d been burned, not stabbed, and those wounds had been taken care of earlier. Perhaps they’d missed something… But Manuela was nothing if not thorough when it came to her patients. _

_ “Sweetie…” She admonished gently. “What were you thinking?” _

_ “What do you  _ mean _ ?!” He snapped. What the hell was this woman talking about? He didn’t need to be lectured about his life choices. Couldn’t she just fix him already so he could go back to sleep? _

_ “You were pregnant. Why did you go on the battlefield in the first place?” _

_ “P-Pregnant? I’m pregnant?” His whole world froze, eyes staring up at the former songstress in what he could only assume was horror. _

_ “You  _ were  _ pregnant.” She repeated, emphasizing the ‘were’ part of that. Her tone was sympathetic. He could only guess she’d misinterpreted what part of that sentence had scared him so. _

_ He breathed a sigh of relief. Was. As in, not anymore. Thank the goddess. _

_ “I’m very sorry.” She sounded sincere, but he still caught a hint of her reprimanding tone. _

_ “Don’t give me that.” He grumbled. “I didn’t even know.” _

_ “Oh? You weren’t trying?” _

_ “Of course not! I don’t have time to waste on a child!” _

_ There was a war to win, things to do afterwards. Who would keep the boar in check if he got himself knocked up? Who would help him oversee the restoration of the kingdom? Who would help fix the shattered Fraldarius territory, or help Sylvain negotiate with Sreng, or train with Ingrid to keep the knight sharp? He couldn’t afford to slow down. _

_ “... Would you like me to get Sylvain for you, then?” _

Sylvain…  _ He touched the scar on his neck gingerly. It’d since healed, but he was still afraid to touch it. It didn’t hurt… In fact, it felt warm. Thrumming. Alive. He felt his pulse beat beneath his fingertips for a moment, comforted in the knowledge that, not far from where he was laying, Sylvain was sleeping safe and sound in the little room they’d been calling their own since they’d bonded. _

_ “No, I don’t.” _

_ If she wanted any further explanation, he wasn’t going to offer it. Whether or not he told his mate was none of her business, anyways. _

_ They’d been too focused on staying alive in the present to even dream of the future. There was no room for discussion about children, not when long sleepless nights were spent huddled in each other’s arms, in a too-small dorm bed, petrified that one or both of them wouldn’t live through the next battle. _

_ They were finally able to breathe, and live, with the knowledge that this horrible nightmare was behind them. He… He didn’t want to see that disappointed look plastered on his mate’s face after such a victory. After they were just about to get their lives back. _

_ And Sylvain… He’d already caused him enough troubling by making him carry his limp body all the way back from Enbarr. He needed to rest. He would tell him later, after the celebrations were over. _

_ He struggled to get out of bed; the throbbing in his abdomen had subsided, but it wasn’t gone completely. Manuela offered him a spare pair of uniform pants that some poor student had probably lost in their academy days. He took them as he slowly made his way to the bathroom, doubled over and with blood leaking down his inner thigh. _

_ “I’m very sorry.” She offered as she handed over the article of clothing. _

_ “I don’t need your pity.” He snapped, snatching it from her hands with more force than strictly necessary. _

_ What did he need it for, anyways? His life was going back to normal. _

* * *

* * *

“Mom!” The delighted shriek of his youngest nibling pulled him out of his thoughts. When had she woken up? The little girl flew at him, like they hadn’t seen each other earlier that morning. Maybe to a four year old, a day was an eternity.

Sure enough Dimitri was there. Long blonde hair half pulled out of its usual half-up style and wet with snow. His large fluffy cape was in a similar state, and Felix noticed that he was missing his usual eye patch, and about half his usual armor. Geez, he really had left in a rush.

“Felix? Are the kids okay? Did something happen?” His eyes scanned the room quickly, taking note of each member of his little brood. From what Felix could tell nothing looked out of place, but the other Omega still rushed over to each and did a cursory inspection. The boys took great exception to their mother’s fussing, but Nadya happily allowed herself to be lifted into his arms so he could check her over.

“They’re fine.” He groaned, forcing himself to a sitting position. “Did Sylvain tell you they weren’t?”

“Well no but-”

“ _ I’m  _ the one that’s sick.” Of course he’d jump to conclusions. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise Felix at all if his mate left the letter intentionally vague to expedite Dimitri’s arrival.

“Is it serious..?” His brow creased with concern at just the thought. He was afraid Dimitri was going to come over and start feeling his forehead for fever, too.

“You could say that.” He replied bitterly. “But don’t worry. There is something to be done about it.”

“That’s a relief…” And it was clear to see, too. Dimitri’s shoulders relaxed immediately.

“Nikolai said you wanted to talk to me about something.” Goddess, anything to move the discussion away from his health.

“Ah, of course! I have need of you next moon. I’ve arranged for an envoy from Duscur to visit Fhirdiad to discuss rebuilding efforts. I’d like to have you there to keep things… Civil.”

Things between the king and the people of what used to be Duscur were relatively pleasant, given the mess Dimitri had gotten them out of in their academy days. Well that, and the fact that the king proudly sported a bond-scar that tied himself of a man of Duscur, and he’d borne him five beautiful children. The nobles on the other hand… There were still many that were unhappy with the peninsula’s newfound independence.

“A chance to put all those snobby nobles in line? Count me in.” He didn’t care much for the political intrigue, but seeing Count Kleiman jump ten feet in the air when he slammed his arm — the one adorned with his Aegis shield — on the table and told him to shut up was priceless.

They both glanced to the window, then. Just as he’d suspected, the storm had quickly turned int a blizzard. Seemed Dimitri had made it just in time.

“I’m terribly sorry to impose, but, uh…” He sheepishly ran his left hand through his hair. “Dedue would be very displeased if-”

“Sylvain already had a room made up for you and the kids.” He didn’t even let Dimitri finish his sentence. With how timid he could be, Felix was surprised he’d made it this long as King of Faerghus.

“Thank you.”

Footsteps echoed down the hall just outside of the door. Sylvain was already talking, even though he hadn’t even made it through the door yet.

“-Okay, so the doctor said that we wouldn’t be able to tell for a few days, but she gave me-” He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw their new arrival. “Dimitri! You’re here already?”

“Good to see you too, Sylvain.” He shook his head.

“Safe trip?” His hand twitched behind his back to hide whatever was in his hand. Felix smacked his own forehead. Dimitri was sure to notice such an obvious gesture. He probably wouldn’t have even paid attention, had Sylvain not been so conspicuous.

“As safe as riding through a blizzard can be, I suppose… What’s that you’ve got there?”

“Oh, uh…”

In his left hand was another vial of clear liquid, just like the one Felix had used with the doctor earlier.

“Why do you have one of those?”

He cursed. Of course Dimitri would know. He may be a bit oblivious, but even he must find it hard to miss a pregnancy test. He’d probably taken dozens of them over the years. It only took a moment for it to register, and his blue eyes widened in shock.

“Are you two trying to—?”

“No!” Felix practically shouted. He didn’t want to explain himself to Dimitri, least of all in front of the kids. “Forget about it, okay?”

“If you’re pregnant then surely you won’t be well enough by next moon! Please, don’t force yourself for my sake! I can send for Ingrid or Annette…”

“We are  _ not  _ talking about this now, boar. Got it?” He hissed. “I’ll explain later. Go get settled in your room! Shoo!”

“You never change, do you, Felix?” His tone sounded amused, but his voice betrayed something else. “Fine, but I am here to discuss this when you’re ready”

He gathered up the children and headed a few doors down the hall to the guest room, the one they kept especially for when the king decided to visit, and Felix breathed a sigh of relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NGL this fic is just an excuse for me to write really self-indulgent Dimidue next to angsty Sylvix.
> 
> Potential TW for miscarriage


	3. Chapter 3

They waited several long minutes, until the heavy trod of armored boots, three other pairs of feet, and their niece’s excited babbling faded and the door down the hall clicked shut. He breathed a sigh of relief, even if the anticipation of his inevitable talk with Dimitri curdled his stomach.

“You idiot!” He hissed as soon as they were sure said king couldn’t hear them. He hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath until he was finally taking in air again. “What were you thinking? Waving around a  _ pregnancy test _ in front of the boar?”

“I was  _ thinking  _ the blizzard would have delayed him another ten minutes. I’ll be sure to take it into account the next time I accidentally knock you up and send an emergency letter to Fhirdiad, okay?”

“My brilliant mate.” He rolled his eyes halfheartedly. “How did we ever win a war with you as our brains?”

“Hey now, you know most of that wasn’t me.”

“Oh? And here I was under the impression that you were discussing battle strategies late into the night. You’re telling me you did nothing while Annette planned everything?”

“What? It would be rude to leave a lady to pore over those maps all alone!” He winked, that cocky, disturbingly charming little smirk settling on his lips.

It was best to just ignore Sylvain in these types of situations. Avert his gaze and remind himself that Sylvain didn’t really mean it.

“Uh huh. Are you going to keep messing around, or are you going to tell me what the doctor said?”

“Right.” He shut the door behind himself, just in case any nosy servants were peeking their heads in, and settled on the floor beside him. “She said it’s too early to tell if your drop affected anything. If you don’t start showing miscarriage symptoms within a few days you should take another test to confirm.”

“Well… It’s not ideal.” He hated the idea of waiting. The faster he could get this thing out of his body, the better.

“I still told her to get the herbs. It might take some time given the weather, but it’s doable.”

At least that was handled. He wasn’t sure what he’d do without Sylvain sometimes.

He nodded to show he’d heard, but his mind was drifting a million miles away. His hand found its way to his own stomach once again and he absentmindedly poked his fingers up under his shirt and prodded at the skin there. Of course he couldn’t feel the baby, he knew he wouldn’t be able to this early… but he didn’t feel reassured by that. He knew it was there now. Every time he moved it felt like there was a rock in his belly.

Sylvain scooted closer to him and wrapped one arm around his waist. He gratefully reciprocated the gesture by leaning his head against his Alpha’s broad shoulder.

“Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll take care of you, Fe.”

Rich, coming from him. Sylvain was practically exuding worry out of every pore. His left hand was drumming out a rhythm on the rug beside his leg, even as the right squeezed to reassure him.

“I’m not worrying.”

He chuckled. “I know.”

He easily relaxed into his touch, eyes drifting closed as he focused on the soothing way Sylvain’s fingers moved against his skin. His mate had always been a comforting presence for him, even when they were young, but this was different. It was like every other instance all wrapped into one and then multiplied by ten, and despite being scared he’d never felt more safe and loved.

… Hormones. It must be the hormones. He was barely pregnant and they were already fucking with his head. Just like that he felt his shoulders tense again.

“Hey… What do you think you can stomach? We should have the cooks start lunch, and you haven’t kept anything down all day.”

“Cooks? Dimitri and the kids are here, remember? They’ve all been sent home.”   
  
His partner groaned. “I forgot about that.”

“They’re here often enough, how did this slip your mind?”

“Y’know kitten, I’ve been a little preoccupied today.”

Even with all of this, Felix wasn’t sure how he could forget about it. Felix never would. He’d been there the day this rule was set, after all. Nikolai was five, Dedue was busy tending to the greenhouse, and they had yet to find a new tutor after the boy’s previous teacher had been caught throwing around the term “half-breed.” Dimitri, once again pregnant and far enough along that he should have really been resting, was juggling the restless boy on his lap while attempting to get through his paperwork.

Felix had only excused himself for a moment, but when he came back the boy was convulsing on the floor and Dimitri was yelling for help. They found out later that it was a poisoned snack, no doubt intended for the king and the unborn fourth royal child. Dedue prepared everything they ate from that point on, and if he didn’t then another member of their pack did. The eldest policed that rule rather fanatically, and the servants of the Fraldarius-Gautier household knew to send the chefs home for the day if any of the royal family members showed up.

“I believe it’s your turn to cook for them, by the way.”

“There just had to be a blizzard.” Sylvain groaned.

“I thought you were excited to put those cooking skills to use. In fact, I recall you bragging about all those lessons Dedue was giving you?”

“For  _ you!  _ Fe, you know how picky those kids are.”

“Of course I do. That’s why it’s your turn.”

Sylvain dragged himself to his feet with a grumble and made his way to the kitchen.

* * *

Felix did have one thing to say for his mate: at least his cooking had improved in the time they’d been married. It wasn’t a skill that he used frequently, and really he was only on a beginner’s level of competence, but he learned quickly.

Lunch was a basic soup, bland compared to what Felix knew he could cook, and while he forced himself to drink some he primarily focused on the bread.

It was a surprisingly quiet affair. With Dimitri around to keep the twins in line and everyone else too shaken up by his “random illness” the table was completely silent, with only the occasional interjection from Dimitri about his little ones’ manners. But while everyone else was focused intently on their food, little Nikolai wouldn’t stop glancing up at him from behind his food.

“Uncle Fe…” He started tentatively, spoon stirring around the liquid in his soup bowl.

“Yeah, kid?”

“Are you having a baby?”

He nearly choked on his spoonful, the liquid burning his throat as he inhaled.

It was hard to keep the tremble out of his voice. He fought hard to keep it down, but he couldn’t keep it completely even. “What makes you say that?”

Nikolai glanced between him and Dimitri. “Mama got sick like that when he had us.”

“No.” He answered firmly. He didn’t miss the way Dimitri’s eyes flashed over to him to see his reaction before he made his assertion. “I just feel sick.”

“Then how come Uncle Syl keeps doting on you like Papa did for Mama?”

“I- … I…” He stuttered and paused. He’d hoped the eldest inherited his mother’s obliviousness, but of course he couldn’t be that lucky.

“Niko!” Dimitri chastised gently. “Uncle Fe isn’t feeling well, it’s rude to ask so many questions.”

“Yes Mama.”

He shook his head. “I’m not hungry anymore. I’m going to go lie down.”

“Felix I’m sorry, he did not mean to-”

“No, really. I’m just tired. I’ll see you kids in the morning, okay?”

* * *

He spent the rest of the day hiding from Dimitri under the guise of “resting”. It wasn’t exactly a lie, he did spend most of the time sitting by the fire reading. Not quite as satisfying as training, but he didn’t think his body could handle that and Dimitri would certainly corner him if he found him out there.

Sylvain brought his dinner to their room some time later. He was almost in the clear, just a bath, then bed, and then hopefully Dimitri would be gone before he and Sylvain got out of bed the next morning. He was sitting on the floor by the fire again, thick blanket around his shoulders and wet hair falling down over his back so it could dry. One hand gripped his book as his eyes skated over the letters quickly, reading but not really processing them. He’d been trying to keep himself occupied after Sylvain left to tie up a few loose ends in his work, but the longer the day bore on the more difficult that was getting.

It was getting harder and harder to focus on the words, and just as he was about to make his way toward bed the door creaked open. Too early to be Sylvain, so that meant...

“Shouldn’t you be looking after your spawn?” He cut in before Dimitri could even greet him. He didn’t even need to look up.

“They are asleep now, and just a room over.”

He sighed and slipped his bookmark between the pages. It seemed there was no way to escape a conversation with the man, was there? Dimitri knelt down on the warm rugs beside him.

“Would you like to tell me what’s going on now?”

“No.”

That didn’t seem to deter him, though. He just plowed on, as if Felix were speaking a foreign language.

“I didn’t know you two were trying! Felix… I wish you would have told me about this!”

Trying..? About… This? That seemed like a tall order, considering he’d just found out himself only a few hours before Dimitri arrived. Not only that, he thought this was intentional?

“When Dedue and I had Nikolai it was one of the happiest moments of my life. You and Sylvain must be so excited! I apologize for Nikolai, I understand if it is still too early to make the announcement.”

“Stop…” But Dimitri didn’t seem to hear his weak plea. He just continued rambling on.

“The first is always the toughest. I could barely eat the first three months, but Dedue knows some old Duscur recipes for morning sickness… Goddess, I am so lucky Felix.”

“Dimitri…”

He went starry eyed for a moment before barreling forward once more. “You simply must come to Fhirdiad! Dedue has been a bit down that Edward will be our last, just as he was getting good at making those dishes! I’m sure he would love to cook them for you! It will be harder on you since you started later, I’m sure it would be a weight off of Sylvain’s mind if you were taken care of-”

“ _ I don’t want it! _ ” He blurted out. His hands were clutching at the edges of the blanket, pulling them close to make himself seem smaller.

“You… You don’t?”

“I haven’t changed my mind about anything. I don’t want it. I can’t… You’re talking about  _ food  _ and I… I can’t...” He desperately tried to control his breathing. He blamed the stupid hormones for the tears welling up in his eyes. He is a war hero, he doesn’t cry.

“So the test then..?”

“An unfortunate accident. I’m dealing with it.”

“You don’t mean… Felix, must I be the one to tell you what a bad idea that is? Those herbs-”

“I don’t see another way out of this, do you?”

“Why must you ‘get out of it’? You’re playing with your life, here! Is having a child really so bad?”

“ _ Yes! _ ” He shouted. “Yes, because  _ I don’t want it!  _ And I don’t  _ care  _ about how  _ magical  _ your eight years as a broodmare were!”

He wasn’t sure if he was expecting a fight, he probably deserved it after that insult, but he didn’t get one.

Instead Dimitri just sighed. “If that is how you see it, then I suppose there is little I can do to change your mind.”

“Dimitri I… I can’t bring a child into this world. I must have told you that a hundred times.”

“I… Yes, indeed you have. I just… I have lost so much, Felix.”

He understood. He wouldn’t say aloud just how much. After his father died… Well, their relationship had been complicated, but with him, his mother, and Glenn all gone…

But no, he couldn’t. He couldn’t go through with this.

“I won’t change my mind.”

“If you do, please come to the capital.”

“Dimitri-”

“No, I am serious. Dedue and the children would love to have you there. I can find you the best doctors… You are getting old, for a first time mother. Pregnancy will not be easy on you, you should be surrounded by your pack. And I could use your help, at least as long as you are able and…”

“I am  _ not  _ changing my mind!”

“But if you  _ do. _ ” He clutched his hand with all the delicacy of a bull in a china shop. “Consider it. Please.”

“... Fine. I will  _ consider. _ ” An empty promise, he didn’t plan on going back on his desires.

“I’m glad… If I lost you… If Sylvain lost you… You are so important-”

“Enough of that!”

“Heh. Of course.”

Despite the crushing grip on his fingers, he didn’t make a move to pull his hand from Dimitri’s. He felt a strange sort of calm in the other Omega’s presence, not as potent as the kind he felt around Sylvain, but close.

“Ma!” The door to his room creaked open. The twins were standing in the hall in their borrowed nightclothes: Two of Felix’s older shirts from when he was a child. Too big on them to really be shirts, more like nightgowns in practice. Rory led, left hand clutching Gil’s right as he dragged his brother behind him.

“I thought I told you both to stay in bed?”

“Nadya had a nightmare.”

“Oh?  _ Nadya _ had a nightmare?” He asked, an amused little smile on his face. It was a poorly kept secret that when Rory was scared he blamed it on his little sister. Dragging Gil along was like bringing his security blanket with him. “Well then, I had better go chase off the monsters.”

“Can Uncle Fe come too?”

“I think it would be best for Uncle Felix to rest.”

“Aw, but he’s been resting all day! ‘Sides, he’s better at getting rid of the monsters than you.”

Dimitri’s mouth hung open for a moment, before his face fell into a little pout.

“When did my children start liking you more than they like me?” He grumbled quietly. Then, louder, “Felix, would you mind terribly?”

“Alright kids.”

He followed along behind Dimitri and the twins. The other Omega was dragged along by both arms: one per twin. Thankfully they didn’t have to worry about grievously injuring their mother with their crest-given strength, thanks to his own.

The guest bedroom was dark, lit only by one small candle, but it wasn’t difficult to navigate to the bed. This room was specially designed for Dimitri and his family, so it did have to meet his very specific parameters. Namely, it needed to have a bed large enough to accommodate his massive queen-consort, which meant most of the floor space was occupied by a large four-poster. Nadya and Nikolai were already curled up on one end, which left plenty of room for the two Omegas and the remaining pups. There might even be room for Sylvain, if they squeezed...

He’d only intended to stay long enough to calm Rory and Gil down, but as soon as he was under the covers the twins snuggled up to him and held him there with their tiny Blaiddyd death-grips. It wasn’t long before they were fast asleep and he was too worried about waking them up to move them.

“I am terribly sorry…” Dimitri mouthed quietly.

“Easier than sleeping with the cats, at least.” He muttered back.

Dimitri offered him an apologetic smile before he snuffed out the one remaining light.

* * *

Come morning, as soon as the snow cleared and the carriage arrived from Fhirdiad (really, the boar never thought things through. How did he expect to get five children home on just his horse? Thank the Goddess he had Dedue) the royal family were on their way.

The next week was hell. He found himself barely able to drag his body out of bed, and even when he did it was primarily to deposit the contents of his stomach in the toilet before crawling back. He couldn’t remember feeling so physically terrible in all of his life. He hoped against hope that the second test would yield different results despite his lack of symptoms, but the little vial was still blue. It was almost like it was mocking him.

Those herbs could not arrive fast enough.

But still, even as he waited he felt the anxiety creep into the back of his mind. Dimitri’s words wouldn’t stop ringing in his head.

_ If Sylvain lost you… _

He tried not to think about it, but a few days later he was sitting upright again, perched on the edge of the bed, sat snugly between his mate’s legs. He hadn’t been able to bathe and he’d barely been able to hold food down, so he was sure that he looked as much of a wreck as he currently felt.

Sylvain, for his part, seemed right there with him. He’d forgone most of his regular duties in favor of keeping his bed warm. He barely looked better, eyes dark with bags, his hair similarly disheveled, curls limp looking after days of accumulated grease weighted them down.

Soon though. Soon he could wash the dredge and muck of this horrible week off of his body. Perhaps he would even allow Sylvain to join him… It was always a treat to get his hair washed and combed, and after the past few days of hell he was going to need it.

There was a gentle knock on the door, and the physician breezed in when prompted to enter. She pushed the foul smelling mixture of herbs into his hands and stepped out of the room to wait, just in case something went wrong. The cup was scorching hot on his bare fingers.

That rhythmic  _ tap, tapping  _ against his thigh was back.

“Something on your mind?”

“I… No, don’t worry about it, Fe.”

“If you have something to say then just spit it out.”

“Really, you’re about to go through a lot. You don’t need my worries.”

“Say it.” He growled.

Sylvain sighed, defeated. “This could kill you, you know.”

“I’m not stupid.”

It was a big cup, and he didn’t look forward to drinking any of it. His stomach was already revolting at the thought, worse than it had been these past few weeks. Sylvain settled his chin on his shoulder, arms wound tightly around his waist.

“If you die I’ll be all alone.”

“Sylvain-”

“I’m not going to tell you not to drink it, Felix. I support you.”

That little reminder was enough to shake his confidence. How many horrible stories had he heard of Omegas hemorrhaging and bleeding out from these teas? Too many to count. He was gambling between being miserable, and possibly being dead.

And if he died… Sylvain…

“I don’t want a baby.”

“I know.”

“I’ll be miserable.”

“I know.”

“... I’m... Scared.”

“I’m sorry… I wish there was another way.”

“Damn it!” He cursed. A drop of the hot liquid spilled onto Sylvains knee and his mate hissed. “Sorry…”

“Don’t even worry about it. I shouldn’t have said anything, okay? I’ll be right here no matter what.”

He leaned his head against his mate’s and sighed. A baby… it was so hard to imagine. It’d been so far outside of their life goals he hadn’t even considered it. He’d been watching Dimitri’s kids since they were little, sure, and he hadn’t been particularly bad at it… but he wasn’t amazing. He didn’t have that urge, the drive to have his own.

On the other hand… He nuzzled his cheek against his mate’s hair. Sylvain purred in approval. He couldn’t imagine his own life without Sylvain in it. If they’d swapped places, if this was Sylvain holding the tea...

He looked back down at his cup. It was still steaming, but it’d already cooled quite a bit in the chilly spring air. It was ready, he could drink it any time.

“Damn…” He extricated himself from his mate’s arms, careful not to spill any more. Sylvain let him go easily, one eyebrow arched curiously as Felix slammed the window open with the flat of his palm, like it’d somehow managed to personally offend him, and threw the entire cup out. With that done, he shut the window and returned to bed.

Sylvain curled around him once more. His arms locked him into a steadying grip, just barely enough to keep him grounded as the implication of what he’d just done set in.

“I love you.” He whispered, peppering light kisses along the back of his neck. He didn’t sound relieved, nor did he sound angry. Just… sincere.

“I won’t leave you alone.”

A baby. They were going to have a baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEGL this was really hard to write because every time I started writing this I just wanted to write Dimidue, and every time I started writing Dimidue I just wanted to write more of their adorable kids with their Uncle Felix and Sylvain.


	4. Chapter 4

_ Nothing appeared different at a glance. There was no particular buzz about the castle when they arrived, nor did he see any visible differences. Dimitri hadn’t told him why they were being summoned, just that they -- both of them, he’d stressed -- should come as quickly as possible.  _

_ He strolled into the King’s office as per usual while Sylvain settled things with the horses. Dimitri was there bent over his desk, eye straining to read his papers like always… But he was smiling today. He never smiled when he looked at paperwork. _

_ “Ah, Felix! You’ve arrived!” _

_ It was only when he stood up that anyone would be able to tell anything was different. His armor was gone, replaced with something more casual: loose fitting pants and a fitted black turtleneck sweater. Nothing too unseemly for a king, but a marked step down from his usual presentation. And his stomach… Felix’s eyes flicked between his midsection and his face. _

_ He looked so stupidly happy. Glowing. He didn’t have any right to look that good. _

_ Perhaps congratulations should be in order, but Felix couldn’t muster the words. Instead he said the first thing that came to mind. _

_ “Well you certainly didn’t wait long, did you?” _

_ “I’ll admit it did come a little earlier than expected.” Dimitri placed a hand over his swollen belly. He wasn’t very far along yet, but his small waist just seemed to accentuate the bump. The entire thing sent a rather unpleasant shiver down Felix’s spine. _

_ “This is just like you… going and getting knocked up so soon after the war. We still have work to do, boar.” _

_ Not even the nickname seemed to dampen his mood. Dimitri just went on smiling stupidly at him, hand resting delicately over his baby bump. _

_ “I take it you and Sylvain aren’t going to start trying for a while?” _

_ “Ever, if I have anything to say about it.” _

_ He crossed his arms over his flat stomach. He liked his body just fine the way it was, thanks. _

_ “That’s too bad, it would be nice to have a little niece or nephew.” _

_ “Yeah, well, forget it.” _

_ He was getting sick of hearing it. The war was hardly over and he already had his father in law clamoring about heirs and the Gautier bloodline. Now Dimitri was joining in too? _

_ “Maybe you will feel differently if you get pregnant. I did not think that I de- ...” Dimitri cut himself off. What he wanted to say was written on his face, clear as day: he didn’t think he deserved it. Felix knew, he’d shared as much in the past, but he corrected himself quickly, “... that I would be ready.” _

_ “I already was pregnant. It didn’t change anything.” _

_ He didn’t realize the weight of what he’d said until Dimitri’s one blue eye opened wide in shock. _

_ “You-” _

_ “Don’t,” he hissed. _

_ “Does Sylvain know?” _

_ “No. He doesn’t.” _

_ “Was it his-” _

_ “I don’t care if you’re the king. If you finish that sentence I will sever your head from your shoulders.” _

_ The implication alone was disgusting. He wasn’t some harlot. _

_ “Why haven’t you told him?” _

_ “What would be the point? He doesn’t want kids either.” _

_ He’d been so relieved when they’d finally broached the topic and Sylvain had made it quite clear that he was more than happy to end the Gautier bloodline. What was the point of dredging it up? They didn’t want a baby and they didn’t have one. So why would Sylvain care that he’d been pregnant? _

_ “I… I don’t know, Felix...” _

_ “It’s over with.” _

_ A tense silence passed between them, Felix glaring as if daring Dimitri to say another word, and Dimitri with his arms crossed over his chest apprehensively, until they were interrupted by the queen-consort himself. And by the goddess… Felix didn’t think it was possible for that dopey look on Dimitri’s face to get even more unbearable, but somehow it did. _

_ “Your Majesty… You promised that you would be resting.” _

_ “Come Dedue, there’s no need for all of that. Felix is the only one here.” _

_ He held his arms out and his mate drifted into them seamlessly. Dimitri nuzzled his neck, his chest rumbling happily at the contact. _

_ He was going to gag. _

_ “Besides, it wouldn’t do to meet them in our chambers, don’t you agree? It’s… a bit of a mess.” _

_ He smiled sheepishly at the admission. Of that Felix had no doubt. Dimitri was pregnant, his bed was probably a tangled nest of old clothes and blankets. If Dedue’s wrinkled shirt was any indication, then the entire dresser drawer was currently wadded up on the bed and drenched in Dimitri’s scent. _

_ “Have you told him the news?” Dedue stepped back a bit, but he still stood between them, his back obscuring most of Dimitri from his view. _

_ “As if I could hide it. I am already getting to be so large...” He looked down at himself, twisting his fingers in that self conscious way that Felix was all too familiar with. _

_ “Dimitri…” _

_ Ugh. Maybe he could slip out while they were being sappy and disgusting. They probably wouldn’t even hear him through all of their tender whispers and reassurances that Dimitri was just as beautiful as before… _

_ … In fact, he was about to do just that when Sylvain entered the room. The couple paid this new arrival no mind, Dedue was too busy peppering his mate’s forehead with kisses. _

_ Sylvain leaned in close to whisper, “Did I miss something?” _

_ “The boar has become a sow.” _

_ “Ah, Dedue! Sylvain is here.” _

_ Dedue stepped off to the side just as smoothly as he had drifted into his arms earlier, one arm still protectively wrapped around Dimitri’s waist. _

_ “Congratulations, Your Majesty! Dedue!” His mate nodded at each of them, then turned back to give his full attention to Dimitri. “Is that why you’ve summoned us here?” _

_ “Yes. I plan to have the others meet us as well, but I wanted to speak with the two of you first. As you know, I will need help to keep things running around here in a few months time.” _

_ Dedue made a strange little noise in his throat and Dimitri rolled his eye. _

_ “I know you would prefer I be resting now, but I cannot afford to! There is still so much to be done!” _

_ “Hey now, don’t worry about it! It would be our honor.” _

* * *

* * *

That was all Felix could think about when he woke up. Their happy faces, brimming with hope and excitement as they delivered the news of their first.

Pregnancy agreed with Dimitri. He looked positively radiant; his pale skin glowed in practically any light and his constant smile brightened any room.

Pregnancy did not agree with Felix. At all. He looked sallow and tired, eyes saddled with deep purple bags and dull from exhaustion. He’d never considered himself vain… but he’d never looked this terrible, either. It was easy not to think about his looks when his greatest concern was bedhead or a new scar.

He tried to avoid glancing at himself in the mirror as he brushed his teeth. Sylvain was already waiting outside of the bathroom for him when he finished, two bags packed full of everything they’d need.

He couldn’t believe he was taking the boar’s offer.

It shouldn’t be too bad… How many times had he stayed in the capital? Then again, he’d never stayed so long before. They’d only occupied the guest bedroom in the royal wing for a few months at a time at most. Even their longest stays never lasted more than a season. Nine months, possibly more? It was going to really try his patience.

“Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah.”

He reached for his bag, but before his hand could get anywhere near the strap Sylvain snatched it off of the ground and slung it over his own shoulder. Felix suppressed a little growl in the back of his throat.

His mate certainly wasn’t helping his situation. He’d begun handling him with the delicacy of glass seemingly overnight. He could still ride a horse, but Sylvain insisted they take the carriage.  _ For their things _ , he’d reasoned, but they weren’t bringing more than they could carry on their backs. He couldn’t even argue, the servants had already prepared it for them before Sylvain had even asked his opinion on the matter. It was waiting for them out front.

“Are you cold?” Sylvain asked as he took his seat.

“I’m fine.”

“It’s a bit chilly…” Sylvain didn’t consult him as he tucked a blanket around his lap for him.

Felix’s eye twitched, but he held his tongue. Sylvain was just worried about him, that was all. So what if it was a warm spring day, it wasn’t worth the fight, he should just bite his tongue and let Sylvain dote a little. He just kept repeating that in his head like a mantra, even as Sylvain tucked  _ another  _ blanket over the first.

He spent the entire journey silently stewing, hot  _ and  _ nauseous instead of just nauseous. Wonderful.

Otherwise, the journey was completely uneventful, and as soon as the wheels stopped turning he bolted outside, relieved to finally breathe fresh air once again… but his good mood was quickly spoiled as Sylvain stepped out of the carriage behind him, both bags in his hands once again.

Goddess, he was barely even pregnant! He didn’t need to be treated like he would shatter in a stiff wind!

_ It’s not important,  _ he kept insisting in his own head as he trudged down the hall, his mate hovering obnoxiously close behind him.

Their guest bedroom was the same as always, with one glaring little addition. There was a crib sitting at the foot of their bed. Blatantly. Felix swore it was mocking him.

“What is that doing in here?”

“I think a baby goes in it. Presumably ours.”

“You’re such an idiot.”

He meant for it to sound teasing, but it came off more bitter than anything.

“And that’s why you love me.” Sylvain nuzzled his cheek affectionately as he stepped past him to put their bags down beside the bed. “How are you feeling, do you want to rest?”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? It’s been a long journey, I’m sure Dimitri wouldn’t mind waiting a little while if you wanted to lie down.”

“I said I’m  _ fine, _ ” he snapped.

His mate threw his hands up in surrender, and suddenly he felt bad for being so harsh. Sylvain was being overbearing, but he meant well.

“Hey…” He tugged Sylvain closer by the sleeve and buried his nose in the fabric of his shirt. “I’m… sorry.”

“I’m just worried about you, Fe.” Sylvain pulled him tight against his chest, his right hand pressing gently against his lower back before tangling itself in his long ponytail.

“I don’t need you to worry.”

“And yet I always will.”

They stood there for a moment, Sylvain’s heartbeat pounding in his ear. He didn’t want to admit to just how tired he was. The trip from Fraldarius to Fhirdiad wasn’t long, but he hadn’t slept properly in days, and with Sylvain’s scent surrounding him he almost felt like it was possible. An hour or two of sleep might help him make it through the upcoming, painfully dull discussion of territory rights and acquisition.

“I’ll lie down if it’ll make you feel better, but only for a minute.”

He took a step back and shed his coat, weapons, and boots before he crawled under the covers.

“Wake me up when it’s time for the meeting.”

“Of course.”

Sylvain settled down on the bed beside him, not quite under the covers with him, but close by. It didn’t take much to knock Felix out, just a few moments with his eyes closed and Sylvain’s fingers softly carding their way through his hair.

* * *

He wasn’t sure how much later he woke up, but it was dark and it was quiet. He jolted upright, glancing around the empty room quickly to assess the time. The only thing illuminating the space was a small candle on the desk, burnt a quarter of the way down, and the faintest traces of the setting sun peeking in through the curtains.

“Damn it,” he growled.

It had to be hours later, which meant that he’d slept through their meeting entirely.

He stumbled out of bed, disoriented and bleary eyed, and pulled on his boots. Even the discomfort in his stomach couldn’t dull his rage.

It was sunset, which meant that everyone would be eating dinner. He stormed down the hallway and slammed the door to the royal family’s informal dining space open.

“Ah Felix!” Dimitri waved, as if there weren’t something terribly wrong with the situation. “We were going to bring you-”

“Shut it,” he snarled, and Dimitri’s words died in his throat. Felix marched over to Sylvain and dragged him up to his feet by the collar of his shirt. “You. You’re coming with me.”

He didn’t want to do this in front of the kids.

Sylvain timidly followed behind him until they were out of shouting distance.

“I told you to wake me up,” he hissed quietly.

“You did but-”

“Dimitri needed me!” He cut Sylvain off. He wasn’t interested in hearing any excuses. 

“I know but-”

“I told you that I don’t need you to hover! I’m  _ fine. _ ”

“Felix I-”

“I can’t believe-”

“Felix,” a new voice cut him off.

Dimitri had followed them out of the dining room. He was standing at the end of the hall, wearing a look that Felix had come to be very familiar with. Eyebrows scrunched together in concern, the corners of his mouth turned down just slightly into a frown. It was his ‘mom’ look, the one he got whenever it was time to chastise one of his children for misbehaving. 

“What?” he snapped.

“I told Sylvain not to wake you.”

That gave him pause. But why would... 

“You  _ what? _ ”

“You need your rest. I thought it would be best if you-”

“Goddess, not you too.”

He didn’t like feeling ganged up on. He glanced between the two of them, and goddess... they didn’t even have the good grace to look remorseful. He was gritting his teeth against a barrage of insults. Instead of throwing them he turned on his heel.

“Don’t follow me,” he barked over his shoulder when both men made a move to step after him.

He could really use a training dummy right about now, but by the time he arrived at the palace’s training grounds his stomach was tying itself in knots again and he was feeling lightheaded. At least it was empty and quiet this time of day. He took awhile to sit by himself and cool his head.

He supposed he should have expected Dimitri to be unreasonable, his stupid motherly instincts practically demanded it... but Sylvain? They were supposed to be on the same side. He wasn’t sure if he felt more angry or hurt.

He waited until it was dark to head back inside, in the hopes that he could bypass talking to them, but when he arrived at his bedroom Sylvain was already there with a tray of food in his hands.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” he grumbled as he slid his shoes back off and sat down on the bed.

“Fine then I won’t talk, but you need to eat something.”

Felix begrudgingly took the plate. He had to admit that it smelled delicious; Just the aroma soothed his stomach a bit. Sylvain must have been waiting for a while because the food was cool.

“I’m sorry I didn’t wake you.”

Felix only grunted through a mouthful of food. Dedue must have cooked this for him. He’d thought Dimitri’s talk of Duscur dishes that could soothe morning sickness were an exaggeration, but this was the first thing he’d eaten in over a week that he might actually be able to keep down.

“I let Dimitri talk me into it.”

“Don’t apologize and don’t make excuses. Just don’t do it again, got it?”

Sylvain smiled at him. “Got it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda short, but there'll be lots of fun pregnancy angst in the next chapter >:)

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to give a shout out to all of the lovely Tumblr Anons that helped me develop the headcanons that made this fic possible!


End file.
